What If Life Works Like Your Social Media Feed?

We talk a lot these days about algorithms. Whether it's social media, Netflix, Spotify or our news feeds, they're now an integral part of everyday life, whether we like it or not. 

Think twice before clicking on that video about the modus operandi of narcissists, because there's a good chance your feed will suddenly be flooded with people diagnosing their exes, recounting the horrors of emotional abuse and lip-syncing about the lasting damage. Watch a single crime documentary and somehow your entire homepage transforms into serial killers, cult leaders and people disappearing from bus stops, never to be seen again. 

The fact is, algorithms pay attention to what you engage with and then simply give you more of it. 

But what if life works the same way? 

Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot because, looking back, I can see there was a huge chunk in my life where my personal algorithm was so diabolically messed up that Netflix would have paid big bucks to acquire the film rights. 

You may think I'm being more than a little dramatic, but trust me, Netflix's money would have been well spent because just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it doubled down, raised the stakes and threw a spanner in the works for good measure. 

My life became a series of one disastrous, unimaginable thing after another, involving some of the most messed-up, unpredictably terrible and downright crazy situations imaginable, to the point where I genuinely started wondering what I may have done in a past life. 

Like, how did I even get here? 

And then I started expecting bad things. I lived in fight-or-flight because if something bad was going to happen, it was absolutely going to hunt me down and happen to me. I was looking for it, talking about it, reliving it and analysing it until my life became one long, insanely f*cked-up version of Groundhog Day, only with way more horror and fewer laughs. 

I replayed every hurt, every betrayal and every disappointment until negativity became the lens through which I viewed the world. 

Seriously, was I cursed? Who exactly was I in that past life? Because it sure as heck wasn't Gandhi. 

And then my Instagram feed introduced me to manifestation culture. Are you telling me I can create my own reality, get a new job, find a new apartment, go on holiday and start living my best life simply by using my mind? Who knew? Sign me up.

So, I stood on the diving board of my sh*tty life and launched myself headfirst into the inviting waters of shifting my reality and creating a brand-new shiny one, where everything I touched turned to gold and I was somehow back to 53 kilos. 

There I was, sitting cross-legged in a circle of salt at midnight, a blue candle burning and a sage stick smouldering away, creating not only a distinct stench but a certain ambience, while attempting to summon some sort of cosmic breakthrough. 

And then nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

In fact, things somehow seemed to get worse. 

I remember finally hitting rock bottom and, feeling more than a little sorry for myself, saying out loud to the universe in a moment of total surrender, "This may work for other people, but it sure isn't working for me. I'm obviously a really sh*t manifester." 

Then, as clear as a window freshly wiped with Mr Sheen, the answer dropped into my mind, seemingly direct from the heavens above. 

"Oh no. You're actually an amazing manifester. You just manifest sh*t." 

It was funny enough to make me laugh, but confronting enough to stop me in my tracks. Because suddenly I understood. 

I was manifesting perfectly. 

I was just feeding my internal algorithm all the wrong data. 

Every fearful thought, catastrophic expectation, low-vibration conversation, negative film, doom scroll, toxic relationship, weak boundary and self-defeating belief was essentially me subscribing to more negativity, more anarchy, and every emotional vampire who could smell me downwind. 

It was all serving me more evidence, more people vibrating on that same frequency and more chaos that matched the energy I was unconsciously broadcasting.

You see, birds of a feather really do flock together and misery loves company because energy recognises itself. 

When we sit in victim mode long enough, we start attracting people, situations and experiences that validate that identity. Not because the universe is punishing us, but because we are reinforcing a pattern. 

We become what we perceive. What is within is often reflected in the world around us. Just like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and screaming out, "Life sucks!", the world has a funny way of yelling it right back at you. 

But the beautiful part is that this also works in reverse.

And just as I had spent years spiralling down, it made sense that I could work my way back up too. 

There was no dramatic lightning-bolt moment, no overnight transformation and no magic pill. It was a slow and often uncomfortable rewiring. 

I became fiercely aware of my thoughts, what I was consuming, the music I listened to, the shows I watched, the conversations I entertained, the stories I told myself and the narratives I repeatedly replayed when no one else was listening. 

I became more conscious of the people I surrounded myself with. I started noticing beauty in small things and finding gratitude in moments I would once have overlooked. 

Most importantly, I started asking myself a simple question:  Is this feeding the reality I want, or the one I am trying to escape? 

Little by little, I changed the input. I chose more hopeful thoughts, more expansive conversations, more moments of stillness, more gratitude and more evidence that perhaps life wasn't conspiring against me after all. 

The world was not my enemy. I was. 

And slowly, very slowly, life began reflecting that back to me. 

Sure, it didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. 

That is the thing about reality: it is constantly mirroring us. Your thoughts are not harmless background noise. They are instructions. Your focus is not passive, it's creative, and your inner world is constantly shaping your outer one, whether you realise it or not. 

This is not about toxic positivity or pretending life is always sunshine and perfect manifestations, because sh*t happens. Trauma, pain, grief, heartache and suffering are real, and none of us get out of here alive. 

But there is immense power in recognising that while we cannot always control what happens to us, we can control what we continue feeding our internal algorithm. 

What you think about expands, and what you focus on grows. What you repeatedly scroll through mentally becomes the blueprint your life begins organising itself around. 

Your life is listening. 

Your algorithm is always learning. 

The question is, are you?